Feeling Safe
I have always felt safe when I'm surrounded by people. Mind you I might be standing next to a rapist for all I know, but in general I feel safer when I know there is someone close by.
Every Monday night at around 9:00PM, I leave my NYU classroom and walk to Grand Central. It's about a 10 minute walk, I'm alone, it's dark, but I feel absolutely safe.
Every Monday night at around 10:30OM, I step off the train and walk to my new home in the suburbs. It's about a 10 minute walk, I'm alone, it's dark, and I feel so vulnerable. So much so, that about 5 minutes into my walk I feel the need to call hubbie to let him know I'm on my way.
Why do I feel vulnerable in a place that should in theory much safer than the streets of NYC?
Is it because there is absolutely no one else but me walking in the street? Is it because it is soooooo silent that I can hear every single one of my footsteps, every leaf rustle? Is it because there are barely any street lights so the chances of me tripping over some foreign object or being hit by a car are extremely high. Could be because if I get kidnapped and raped no one would hear me scream, because everyone is asleep by 9:30 or is it merely because I am scared to death of coming face to face with the coyote and fox that are roaming in our neighborhood??? Any of the above are plausible.
Little by little I'll get used to this silence and individual space...but for now I'd feel much safer if I heard a few police sirens and passed a couple of drunk kids on my way home!
Every Monday night at around 9:00PM, I leave my NYU classroom and walk to Grand Central. It's about a 10 minute walk, I'm alone, it's dark, but I feel absolutely safe.
Every Monday night at around 10:30OM, I step off the train and walk to my new home in the suburbs. It's about a 10 minute walk, I'm alone, it's dark, and I feel so vulnerable. So much so, that about 5 minutes into my walk I feel the need to call hubbie to let him know I'm on my way.
Why do I feel vulnerable in a place that should in theory much safer than the streets of NYC?
Is it because there is absolutely no one else but me walking in the street? Is it because it is soooooo silent that I can hear every single one of my footsteps, every leaf rustle? Is it because there are barely any street lights so the chances of me tripping over some foreign object or being hit by a car are extremely high. Could be because if I get kidnapped and raped no one would hear me scream, because everyone is asleep by 9:30 or is it merely because I am scared to death of coming face to face with the coyote and fox that are roaming in our neighborhood??? Any of the above are plausible.
Little by little I'll get used to this silence and individual space...but for now I'd feel much safer if I heard a few police sirens and passed a couple of drunk kids on my way home!
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ReplyDeleteToo funny- but I get it. As long as I see people I'm happy and safe. If I don't see anyone I'm always totally spooked. This harkens back to when I was growing up in the suburbs! I love when you write! Write more often!(though I know with 3 kiddies it's got to be tough!) next time you're in town lets get together! xo!
ReplyDeleteI so feel you on this. I am a Brooklyn, NY girl considering the suburbs of NJ with my husband. He is perfectly fine. I am a bundle of nerves. And finally I said "I feel safer in the city. How does this make sense?" Glad to know I am not the only one. How long have you lived in the 'burbs and is it getting easier?
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