Other Humans are important in the burbs
Living in the burbs, especially during the winter months can make it very easy to become anti-social.
The number one reason is the weather. It's cold and usually some form of precipitation is falling, so one spends very little time outside in the garden or in the neighborhood. When you live in a house versus an apartment the number of daily interactions is drastically reduced. You don't see anyone in the elevator, you don't have a doorman, you don't walk your kids to school, you don't do much walking period. Finally, people in the suburbs seem to be into routines, so if you're not part of their routine chances are you're not going to cross paths.
This tendency towards isolation has made it especially important to force myself to make connections out here in the burbs. It's not always easy. Everyone is busy. There is always a reason not to commit to a social gathering, especially with a small child at home and limited childcare. But I'm a city girl after all, I like crowds, I like being part of a group, I thrive on social interaction so I've been making an effort.
For example today, although 2 out of my 3 kids were home I accepted a friend's invitation to a "degustation" get together. My friend needed a group of us to taste some of her latest culinary creations. I stressed about bringing two kids to a grown up event but I would have felt worse missing out on the grown up interaction. So off the three of us went. My friend not only provided the kids with delicious treats but toys as well. As I chatted with a group of friends about their latest news, the kids played happily together for about an hour. I also made a lunch appointment with a friend I wanted to catch up with, found a new biz opportunity for my coaching business and met some new women who are part of our school community.
When we left I hugged both my kids and thanked them for their outstanding behavior. They were happy, I was happy. My son's take on the whole thing "no problem mom, that's what you get for bringing us to a cookie party!"
The number one reason is the weather. It's cold and usually some form of precipitation is falling, so one spends very little time outside in the garden or in the neighborhood. When you live in a house versus an apartment the number of daily interactions is drastically reduced. You don't see anyone in the elevator, you don't have a doorman, you don't walk your kids to school, you don't do much walking period. Finally, people in the suburbs seem to be into routines, so if you're not part of their routine chances are you're not going to cross paths.
This tendency towards isolation has made it especially important to force myself to make connections out here in the burbs. It's not always easy. Everyone is busy. There is always a reason not to commit to a social gathering, especially with a small child at home and limited childcare. But I'm a city girl after all, I like crowds, I like being part of a group, I thrive on social interaction so I've been making an effort.
For example today, although 2 out of my 3 kids were home I accepted a friend's invitation to a "degustation" get together. My friend needed a group of us to taste some of her latest culinary creations. I stressed about bringing two kids to a grown up event but I would have felt worse missing out on the grown up interaction. So off the three of us went. My friend not only provided the kids with delicious treats but toys as well. As I chatted with a group of friends about their latest news, the kids played happily together for about an hour. I also made a lunch appointment with a friend I wanted to catch up with, found a new biz opportunity for my coaching business and met some new women who are part of our school community.
When we left I hugged both my kids and thanked them for their outstanding behavior. They were happy, I was happy. My son's take on the whole thing "no problem mom, that's what you get for bringing us to a cookie party!"
Comments
Post a Comment