Burb Language

-
When I moved to the burbs I knew that I would have to learn new cultural norms. I didn't, however, realize that I would have to learn a new language.

For example, I always thought stop meant stop. For example, when you're driving and you reach a stop sign, you simply stop. No really difficult. Annoying sometimes but not difficult.

Well out here in Westport, Stop seems to mean anything but stop. Since my job is to be a tour guide of sorts let me share what I've learned so far:

Stop stands for:
"I see the stop sign but I'm choosing to ignore it and driving right through it."

"I pretend to see it, somewhat slow down and hit the accelerator."

"I don't know what the hell I'm suppose to do."

"I'll stand here for about 8 minutes and then proceed cautiously and confuse the hell out of everyone."

"My sunglasses are bigger than yours so you don't exist."

"My car is more expansive than yours so I naturally deserve to go before you."

"Real man don't stop at stop signs."

"I don't know what that signs says because I can't see over the steering wheel and the last eye check I got was in 1984."

And I won't even get started on a four way stop intersection. The net net is that when you come to one of those you're basically risking your life. If I were you I'd take an alternate route.

If you and come visit, be careful when you get to a stop sign.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I live in Wall-e world.

-
One of the things that scared me the most about moving to the suburbs was that I wouldn't be able to walk anywhere ever again. I love walking. It's an opportunity to think, to see friends on the street, to find a great new store... Anyway to try and find a compromise we chose a house which is walking distance to town, with actual sidewalks to get you there, but I've only done it once. Only once because since I was the only soul walking, I basically was like an alien to the drivers on the road so I risked being road kill about four times in the space of 10 minutes! I actually had to call my hubby to ask me to come and pick me up in the car! How humiliating! Needless to say to stay alive I drive to town. But it gets worse. We live on a cul-de-sac where the kids can walk to the school bus stop. It's about 400 yards. In the morning my sons and I walk to the bus stop. In the afternoon we ride our bikes home just because the hill is fun. Well we are now the weirdos of the ne
Read more

No Matter Where

-
Image
No matter where I reside, whether in the city or the burbs, I am appalled by McDonald's. I am appalled by the way corporations in this country poison consumers, young and old, and have the nerve to label their junk with health claims! Read New York Time columnist Mark Bittman's account of McDonald's latest "wholesome" offering and see what set me off! http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/22/how-to-make-oatmeal-wrong/?partner=rss&emc=rss
Read more

It's all in the planning

-
Here is the insight for the day. City = spontaneity, Westport = planning. When you walk out the door in the city you are almost assaulted by all of the possibilities. Best of all if one plan doesn't work out there is always a back up option. It's almost impossible to live in the city and not feel like you've made the most of your day. The city doesn't allow you to be lazy. In Westport if I'm going to do anything outside of the house, I have to plan. If I want to see people, I have to plan. I'm not going to run into someone while I drop off the kids to school with the car, and I'm not going to see anything on my morning run that will stop me in my track and say great I'll do that today. Out here you have to decide to be proactive and make the most of it. This is where the NYC attitude comes in handy. So let's see what have I done to be proactive. I joined the PTA and was invited to a great moms-only cocktail party, where I met lots of moms like me.
Read more