Sisterhood46

We all have our stereotype images of the suburbs. Among the many negative ones I had, and trust me there were many, there were a few positive ones. For example, that instead of taking my three kids to the park which meant: piling soccer balls, shovels, snacks, jackets, phone, keys, and kids unto the stroller, taking the elevator down, stopping at every floor, finally making it to the lobby only to go right back up because someone realized they needed to go to the bathroom and finally making it to the park 20 minutes later. I imagined that in the burbs I would just open my door and let my kids play in the yard or with the neighborhood kids. Well guess what? The other day the kids were just playing around the house after school when the door bell rings. It's our 9 year old neighbor. Huge smile on his face, dressed in a snow suit and he says "can Gabriel come and sleigh with me?" SURE! and off go Gabriel and Theo to sleigh for an hour. I stayed home with my 18 month old, whe...

A couple of weeks ago we reached 10 degrees Fahrenheit out here in the countryside, and that's when it became officially too cold to go jogging to the beach. So I had two options (beyond bootcamp ) join a gym or buy a machine and start a home gym. Joining a gym would mean having to drive there. On the plus side it would also mean that Bella would get to see other kids her age at the babysitting place. But a home gym would mean that I could do it whenever I felt like it. Anyway I went for the home option. After all these years of having to share a gym with stinky guys or annoying women who can't stop talking, I couldn't resist the lure of privacy. After I got over the price tag....who knew those things were so expensive, I had to figure out where to put the thing. We have a little bit of room (especially compared to our 2 bedroom NYC apt) but we don't have a room to dedicate to a gym. Anyway after lengthy discussions with hubby we decide that the unfinished basement whi...

What's worse than having to drive EVERYWHERE, instead of walking like I used to in the city? What's worse than living in Wall-e world? Not being able to drive at all! It was bad enough having to drive everywhere I need to go but it's way worse not being able to drive at all, thanks to my bruised back. Now I feel completely isolated and stranded in the suburbs. I literally have no escape route. My new motto is, enjoy today you have no idea just how much worse tomorrow may be!!!

Life is full of surprises. Last Sunday I went from a happy mom sharing a fun skating moment with my kids, to a broken mom who can't hug her 18 month old! That's right for the first time in 20 years I took a spectacular fall at the ice skating rink, fell right on my tail bone. My family dragged me home and very quickly everyone realized that mom was going to be out of service for a while. Just what you need when you live in the suburbs with 3 kids and a husband who's gone all day. I can't sit, I can't bend, I can't drive... you get the picture. Thank heavens my father in law is staying with us and kindly offered to extend his stay. So on Monday morning, my hubby and his dad took over the running of the house. I was in bed unable to get out by myself. My mid morning I decided I had to go see a doctor, the pain was just too much. I track one down, my father in law drives me to the next town over. She tells me I need an x-ray. My father in law drives me to another t...

Last January I started running almost every morning, in an effort to lose the extra baby weight. My run up the Henry Hudson highway was so precious to me. It was a perfect combination of time alone, physical exercise and time to think about life. Rain, snow or sunshine I was out there. When we moved to CT I swore that no matter what I would find a way of fitting a run into my day. Most mornings I jog from my house to Compo beach. It's about a three mile run. In the midst of everything else that has been uprooted and changed in my life recently this has been my one constant. I have run in sunshine, snow and on icy roads. Most days I run the risk of being run over by an SUV but it's still worth it to me. I've traded jogging to the interesting transvestite peer on the West Side Highway to the beautiful long island sound. Instead of being run over by an aggressive biker, I'll probably be hit by an Acura MDX before the spring comes. In short, the setting has changed but the ...

I live in this very strange combination of Utopia and the Twilight Zone. My new world is exclusively populated by women. Through out my day, where ever I go, I see only women. Women at the school bus stop, women at the gym, women at the supermarket, women at Starbucks....you get the point. What's interesting is that I've landed in this sort of Utopia where women here basically run the show. Women here are in charge of every aspect of their families lives. They make life happen. They plan, they implement and they manage. There is also an interesting bond between these women that has developed because each of them understands the weight of the burden that comes from being the sole care taker of the family life. Women here are fully independent and they don't answer to anyone because frankly there is no one to answer to. The men are all gone. That's the Twilight Zone aspect. The men here just don't exist until the weekend. They all take the first train into NYC on Mond...

As you can imagine it's pretty quiet out here. The first few days I found the silence actually pretty deafening. It reinforced that feeling of isolation. Little by little I met people and when women meet they talk. That thankfully crosses all borders! The more I talk to women at my kids' schools or after-school activities, the more I realize that I'm just one person in a big big crowd. I'm just the latest arrival from the city. As soon as I say I just moved from NYC, they tilt their heads and sweetly say "it's a big adjustment, isn't it?" or "I know it's not easy, but hang in there it gets better." It's quiet and isolated here but there is a huge crowd filled with ex-New Yorkers who have made it work. Some of these women told me that they cried almost every day for months and then got used to it. Some of them still haven't recovered. I'm sure I'll be somewhere in the middle. In the mean time it's nice to take comfort ...

On election day we were still in NYC. Excitement, anticipation and uncertainty filled the city. In the elevator, in the street, at our neighborhood park, that's all we could talk about. A lot of the kids went and voted with their parents and it was so great to watch them talk about it at the playground afterwards. Fast forward a couple of months and I'm now in CT. I have to be honest and say that this morning I was sitting here wishing that I could be in NYC for Obama's inauguration. I was craving that feeling of being part of the crowd, of the buzz. So where was I at 11:30 today? I was at my friend's Deana's house. I met her at a newcomer's cocktail party. She had invited about a dozen of us to come and watch the ceremony at her house. So today I watched the president being sworn in surrounded by a group of new friends. We cheered, we clapped and toasted Obama with a glass of champagne. That's right a glass of bubbly at noon on a Tuesday. The room was fille...

I just got back from my first bootcamp fitness class in the suburbs. My friend Stephanie told me about it. We both recently moved and we both left behind some serious workout trainers. I loved my boxing place in NYC and I was really really skeptical that I could find something of the same caliber out here. I had visions of "Curves." Anyway I was game to try this. So on this gray, cold morning I drove up the Post road which is lined with ugly, uninspiring strip malls and took a right turn at the local McDonalds. I saw a small, box like building with the gym's name on the side. Did I mention that this whole setting was uninspiring? I walked into a super clean, really well outfitted gym and was greeted by Andrew. Andrew is tall, handsome, super fit and leads the bootcamp. O.K. this is looking a little bit more inspiring. I met up with four other friendly women and off we went. He made us to push ups, jumping squats, all the stuff I used to do in NYC. The difference was th...

One of the things that scared me the most about moving to the suburbs was that I wouldn't be able to walk anywhere ever again. I love walking. It's an opportunity to think, to see friends on the street, to find a great new store... Anyway to try and find a compromise we chose a house which is walking distance to town, with actual sidewalks to get you there, but I've only done it once. Only once because since I was the only soul walking, I basically was like an alien to the drivers on the road so I risked being road kill about four times in the space of 10 minutes! I actually had to call my hubby to ask me to come and pick me up in the car! How humiliating! Needless to say to stay alive I drive to town. But it gets worse. We live on a cul-de-sac where the kids can walk to the school bus stop. It's about 400 yards. In the morning my sons and I walk to the bus stop. In the afternoon we ride our bikes home just because the hill is fun. Well we are now the weirdos of the ne...

Here is the insight for the day. City = spontaneity, Westport = planning. When you walk out the door in the city you are almost assaulted by all of the possibilities. Best of all if one plan doesn't work out there is always a back up option. It's almost impossible to live in the city and not feel like you've made the most of your day. The city doesn't allow you to be lazy. In Westport if I'm going to do anything outside of the house, I have to plan. If I want to see people, I have to plan. I'm not going to run into someone while I drop off the kids to school with the car, and I'm not going to see anything on my morning run that will stop me in my track and say great I'll do that today. Out here you have to decide to be proactive and make the most of it. This is where the NYC attitude comes in handy. So let's see what have I done to be proactive. I joined the PTA and was invited to a great moms-only cocktail party, where I met lots of moms like me....

Ok. so let me put to rest the biggest misconception about moving to the suburbs, that it will be cheaper out there! I could give you many examples I'll just stick to two for now: I used to walk down the hall about three times a day and throw my garbage down a chute. Now in the burbs I have to PAY someone to come and pick up my garbage twice a week! In the city I just let the parks and recreation people upkeep beautiful parks and playgrounds. I recently paid someone quite a bit of money to pick up the leaves in my backyard and in the gutters! I couldn't afford the fertilizer treatment. that would have pushed the bill close to $600!

So a few months back my darling hubby gets a fantastic job offer. It's for a great company, a great gig, financially interesting...just one tiny problem it means leaving the city for the burbs. Knowing me pretty well he knew it would be a tough sell. I'm a pure bred city girl through and through. I love the noise, I love the people, I love the action, I love the unpredictability, I love living in an apt, I love it all. We sat down over many martinis and talked through the pros and cons. We have three kids, Gabriel, 7, Theo 4 and Bella 17 months. Needless to say most of the conversation, rightly or wrongly, focused on them. The schools would be better "out there", they would have a back yard, their own rooms. we'd be by the beach. In the end we moved for all of the right reasons. This move has been by far the hardest one of my life. It truly is like moving to a new country and I'm just getting to know the natives.